10 realistic ways I overcome my anxiety

Shifting ‘I Can’t’ into ‘I can”

Growing up, I had anxiety as far back as I can remember. For years, I couldn’t do sleepovers, I quit sports, and got sick every day before school. Those days, it felt like I was powerless against my own anxiety- like it was its own separate entity deciding what I could do. Today, I realize it is simply a part of me that I can control, and it has impacted me in immensely positive ways.

I resist change and am fearful of beginning new things. The summer before I went to college, I dreaded move-in day. I was going to my dream school, but my anxiety was convincing me I couldn’t do it. Once on campus, though, I adjusted well. Soon, my dream became to study abroad. Junior year, leading up to my departure for Italy, I panicked and didn’t know how I would get through it. It ended up being the best three months of my life. Now, I am gearing up to move to Hawaii for a month with my cousin and am simply focusing on the pure excitement and privilege to do so.

I have big goals, but often doubt if I can follow through.  I’ve realized I just have to take the leap and do things. I think most people experience anxiety at some points in their lives, or at least worrisome thoughts. I have done a ton of work to learn to control mine and live peacefully. Here are 10 small, realistic ways that I change my mindset to conquer my anxiety, and I hope they can help you in some way, too.

1. I gradually do little things to prepare myself for something big: I recommend making a checklist. Feel empowered as you handle small tasks. Small victories are important!
2. When in a new situation, focus solely on the present moment, don’t get caught up in possibilities that are distant—how can I do my best right now? What can I actually accomplish in this moment?
3. Celebrating my excitement rather than my fear: recognize positive thoughts & take the time to celebrate them! “I can’t wait for this” deserves way more attention than “What if I can’t do it?”
4. Understanding what I can and can’t control– I can’t control what will actually happen in any given situation, but I can control the peace and strength I find within myself.
5. Stop myself when I come up with worst-case scenarios: I don’t beat myself up, but I say hey, this is not probable or logical!
6. Cheering myself on for showing up & remember my other feats: say “this is no biggie, you’ve done all of these other wonderful, big things.”
7. Counting down from 10 when I feel super worked up: If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, simply count down from 10 to slow your breathing and heartbeat. It’s amazing how much calmer you can feel in those seconds and it reminds you that stress is temporary.
8. Waking up mindfully: in those first moments, it’s important to shift your mindset from negative to positive to start the day. Try giving yourself a little more time in the morning to have a slower routine. Instead of thinking about what you have to do that day, try, “I’m grateful to experience this day”
9. Actions that decrease my anxiety: music, walking, drinking lots of water, journaling, alone time dedicated to doing something I love (painting, reading, etc.)
10. Don’t take yourself too seriously. In the grand scheme of things, will your current worry matter down the road? If not, try to let it go and have fun. Life’s too short!

This is not to say that I am anxious every-day. It is a part of me that comes and goes in ripples. I am in a great place and am thankful for the tools I have acquired to stay here. I hope this was in some way helpful for you. I would love to hear what small things you do to destress if you experience anxiety. It is so important to talk about and share and lift each other up!

Lots of love,

Brenna